We Kid Because We Love: “WHO KILLED OBAMA” Shirt Designer Acts Misunderstood, Recieves Death Threats, Doesn’t Die
Shiv-worthy Chic
The Hiptard behind it all, Doron “Apollo” Braunshtein, claims that all the people who have been leaving him angry messages and death threats “just don’t get hipster irony.” As if that weren’t enough, his interview with the NY Press continued:
“I’m very punk rock… They don’t understand what I’m doing. They think I’m spreading hate. Could you imagine if Obama were killed? They might blame me. Then I’d be taken to jail and have to have prison sex.”
Like, ohmigod Apollo! You’re so tortured, you must be an artist! But don’t worry — I understand you. You’re selling mindlessly crass sweatshirts for extortion-level prices and then crying like a bitch with a skinned knee to score free marketing in the backlash. That way, you can make money without thinking, working or creating any value whatsoever in society.
COMMUNICATING BADLY AND THEN ACTING SMUG WHEN YOU’RE MISUNDERSTOOD IS NOT CLEVERNESS.
Gawker points out that Apollo has already humped this tired hag of an idea once, charging $250 for a safety-pin-bedecked t-shirt that read “Who Killed Anna Wintour.” At least that time, he had something to say about fashion. This time, he’s just running low on trust fund capital to buy meth and amyl nitrate.
19 comments
Here’s what I find most offensive: what self respecting human being over the age of 16 uses MAGAZINE COLLAGES as wallpaper? Seriously, once you’re old enough to lose your virginity you should be old enough to resist tearing out the pages of your SPIN magazine. And who the fuck still subscribes to that shit? Since when we’re music magazines on the cutting edge of anything anymore?
I AM AN ANGRY GIRL.
You clearly just don’t get hipster irony, so you can’t understand the punk rock complexity that is the magazine collage of Douchebag McFucktard.
I need to go for a walk before I punch my laptop in effigy.
This guy’s cool in a really non-cool way.
i used to play hacky sack with that fucking guy in college. i swear to god it’s him. he looks like seth green just cummed all over his face while dressed up as the leave britney alone guy. this mother fucker is the deadliest goddamn product of media overload since… well, since me. fuck, i need my therapist.
Nope, I can’t get away from this guy, I have been sucked in by his cult of personality. Fuck this, where do I sign up for the fan club, I want to know right now by god! I want to sit down with him over a couple of good doses of LSD and just listen as he explaines Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon while we watch The Wizard of Oz. I want his in depth, and no doubt expert analysis, on that topic. Then, I want to cross reference the whole fucking thing with a simultaneous reading of Alice in Wonderland and how Hillary Clinton is both Alice and Dorothy. See, it’ll go down like this:
step 1: We dose the LSD.
step 2: Synchronize Dark Side of the Moon with The Wizard of Oz
step 3: I begin reading Alice in Wonderland
step 4: He begins putting all the pieces together for me like a giant goddamn mixed media jigsaw puzzle complete with pie charts, $20 dollar bills folded around to look like 9/11 twin towers and spelling Osama, and how all that shit is directly related to his vision of Larry Craig opening a combination baseball card and dildo hobby shop. If he could just clear some of this up for me, I won’t need my therapist any longer. I’m serious!
I love you wonk-banned.
I fell asleep on Sunday night conjuring an appropriate response to this article. The rough outline was:
I. Sarcastically affirm the genius of referencing Who Shot John F. Kennedy.
II. Switch tones and write a measured and semi-violent response to this absurd non-human. Shit on him for actually claiming to be a hipster ironist and a punk rocker. Shit on him again because OH MY GOD HE USED ARIEL.
III. Offer this shirt for $30 on Zazzle.com (rendered properly in Helvetica or Gotham) for anyone who still feels strongly that this is necessary fashion item but can’t imagine swallowing this halfling’s seamen.
Then I fell asleep pondering a measured response and how to route out BitchChic’s genetic code from the bloodlines of this polluted race.
Is that an outtie?
OH GAWD EWWW @ Outtie !!! Who does that to their children? You might as well let them keep their foreskin and name them Jermajesty
(thats Jermain Jackson’s kids name. no joke! outtie motherfucker)
We made it onto BuzzFeed! http://www.buzzfeed.com/buzz/The_Who_Killed_Obama_Hoodie
Actually, I wouldn’t put it past this douche to have a big gaudy belly-button piercing. So much worse than an outtie.
@wonk-banned: if you get that whole acid trip thing together, slip a tape recorder into his pocket that continually whispers “there are ants under your skin”. It’s a really funny prank!
OMG, I feel just like the little bee girl in the Blind Melon “No Rain” video. Where the fuck has this website been all my life? I’ve been wondering around this digital bathroom wall that is the internet for years now… getting banned… getting my ass kicked… wondering what the fuck is wrong with me… and then, finally yes, more people who know what the fuck is going on… that’s the only way i can put it… seriously, there are no words. So, let me hit this shit one more time for the cheap seats here… we’re liable to have to just call this the gangbang of “Who Killed Obama” guy.
I’d do a list, but even numbers are too much… i’m just going to use dashes (-)
- Who Killed Obama? No motherfucker, Who Shot J.R.? You unoriginal bastard.
- Is that protruding point in the pocket of your hoodie (dig the alliteration, dig it) an off center belly button outset? The point of your pan-esque goat boy thumb claw? OR (and this is the knock down drag out me owning this situation hay maker of a punch) is it the erect head of your pencil dick? Which fucking one is it? Inquiring minds want to know.
-He gives hipsters a bad name, I just don’t know what else to tell you.
Yes, here I am, the one that you love, loving you in so many ways. I feel like Christ resurrected from the wonkette crucifixion! This site is the Fierce Hot Mess Tranny that I’ve been looking for… it just is… I was just too Fierce for the wonkette sloppy over lubricated vagina monolouge that’s going on over there. See, the new hipster is a smart ass to boot. This guy just ain’t making the fucking cut. I’m sorry dude, YOU CAN NOT CALL YOURSELF A HIPSTER. Hipsters can feel their way through their fuck ups better than this… too… it’s not… the whole thing is just not flowing for me. You take a flat ass grey, cheap jogging hoodie, probably that you bought in bulk at the goodwill, you splatter political diarhea on it, you plagiarize the “Who Shot J.R.?” fandango, and clearly you are night crawler from the X-men masquerading as a mortal. I just can’t buy into this one. It’s too over the top, too personal, and just something right out of a goddamn Hell Raiser movie. Now that I think about it, I think that pointy, belly button, pencil hard on, or goat boy claw is none of that, but instead it is the point of the corner of the Hell Raiser box. You have opened it and are attempting to drag us to hell with you. That’s what’s going on….
Wow. Glad to see there’s a link here to so many websites. I know Apollo Braun personally. I think if you knew the guy and got to talk to him you, you would understand him. That, and he built himself up from nothing to becoming independently successful. Not an easy thing to do particularly in New York City. His art expresses a “slice” of his creative process in a moment of flow. He’s not so much about being uber-perfectionist as he is about capturing his passions in the moment on paper and NOT censoring himself in the process. As a result his method of creating his art is fundamentally different than the way most of us create art.
P.S. He doesn’t even know what a trust fund is.
dear anonymous,
i’d remain anonymous too if I called that moment of derranged, no doubt drug induced inspiration, yes that moment when he had the idea for the obama hoodie… you are calling that an artistic process. give me a fucking break. yeah, Salvador Dali, Apollo fucked him? Salvador isn’t shit compared to this modern day Picasso. To hell with it, he’s changed my religion. Get the fuck out of here. God!
Anybody seeing any greater context to this hoodie, because I’m just not fucking getting it. Anybody? If you can make this make sense, I’ll sew up the hole in my ass.
Wow, anonymous (if that is your real name), I think you took my “artist” comment way too far. It was intended to be a joke about how he was acting tortured and misunderstood. I didn’t actually mean to insinuate that he was an artist. My apologies for the miscommunication.
P.S. thanks for reminding us that hackneyed is the new originality
Proof of the cred, dumbasses! The text on the hoodie is Left Justified! Gawwww!
So, it’s true…he IS very punk rock.
(”Don’t tase me, bro” seems like a way better t-shirt slogan in this light.)
Who killed Edward Bernays? That was Punk Rock.
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