Category — vanity

Update Your Bookmarks, Lovers! Hey, Be Us two point oh is here: Public School Intelligentsia.

Sample some our new fabulousness

Public School Intelligentsia was designed by Matty and Natasha, who aren’t experts like a sommelier will tell you that your lamb would taste better with a 1970 Rothschild Cabernet Sauvignon, but experts like that kid who inexplicably puts together an awesome party mix in fifteen minutes from somebody else’s music library.

And there’s other ways to stalk love threaten adore us!

We’re all on tumblr:Matty, Natasha, Sarah

Check out Sarah on WordPress, and Natasha at the Huffington Post and Sascha at 23/6

But whatever you do, make sure you bring your love and your comments over to PublicSchoolIntelligentsia.com.

Ok! So 143! 420 l8ter? Stay sweet!! 9th grade is going to be sooo Crzzyy!!

See you in the car,

Millouse.

ps. seriously: ALF

A bit crass, but I dig it! Alternate word for vagina: shame-cave.

via Vice

Ohmigosh! Did you guys have a totally rad spring break too?? Ours was soo cRzY!!!!1! It was so totally wild that we’re too hung over and sore from all the red bull cocktails and dry humping we did in Cancun (WOO!!! One of us on staff even boned a black dude just to piss off our parents, GUESS WHICH ONE!! lol!!).

We’re also half way to making our site harder, better, faster stronger. We’ll still have daily posts, but for the next few weeks they will be more in vein of tumblr — links to awesome pictures, stunning commentary, delightful videos, edible bras, inspirational gangsta rap songs, etc.

the king of keeping it real

We’ll be back up to full posting capacity by May Day — and honestly what better way to celebrate the working class’ impending dominance over the means of production than by reading the blog of a bunch privileged, vain, overly ambitious suburbanites who would gladly step on a hobo’s neck just to intern at Radar?( I’d personally pay just to be alex balk’s personal ballwasher.)

Hey, Be Us! needs to take a little break.

It’s not you, it’s us: we’re between servers, jobs, apartments, cities and meetings with our lawyers to discuss trading up our drinking problem into a serious smack habit. We promise it’ll be worth the wait.

We’ll be back next Monday, April 14 to deliver all the same news, gossip and commentary you love from our new server, now with 99% less slow!

While we spare our writers the sweatshop lash, fill your time with some of the lovely links in our blogroll.

img via The Triumph of Bullshit

Just wanted to give big ups to all our new favorite buzzfeed clickers! Together we fought off Obama hatin’ hipatrds, vapid slutty cyber bimbos, and the lamest cumrag rag of all time! You guys, when we work together we are unstoppable. We’re like time captain planet kids (except w/o the queer brown one who was the power of “heart”, wtf was that about?) We simply adore the attention and hope ya’ll hit the subscribe button . We promise more pandas.

Speaking of broken promises:

• Matty said something nice about Old Media. Then he took it back on my facebook wall.
• We all decided we’re over the Spitzer ordeal but then Sarah outlined the effects of the Gov’s”Bareback Attack” on Silda’s face. And it only got better.
• Natasha illustrated her brilliant point with visual AIDS. She also introduced us to her french beaver. Thus forgiving France for that whole selling out their own people to the GERMANS thingy. Then we took it back.
• Tess got down and dirty in SXSW. Denied it. But then we drooled over the pictures.
• Sascha maybe liberated enough to drunkenly flash her junk but she will not be blamed for your daughter’s infected nipple ring. And though she denies her engulfing vanity and love of cosmetics she gave the recession a much needed makeover. Sascha is also up on HuffPo’s humor blog 23/6! We’re fucking jealous so proud! Subscribe the shit out of that bitch!

And the ultimate betrayal: We gave in and joined twitter. Feel up on our tweets!

Natasha was frolicking with her beaver and spilled her appletini on the server, then tried to blame it on the snipers.

But seriously, we’re sorry. We’ve been having some issues with DreamHost, and we’re working on it. If any of y’all happen to know a better web hosting service, you know, where the websites stay up, drop us a comment.

And in conclusion :

• Tess and Natasha spilled green booze on themselves and sang Coolio. All while taking lush and vibrant pictures of ya’ll.

• Sascha Elise is SO OVER Ellen Page and your adolescent need to show off your strap on.

• We introduced you to phiLOLsopher kittehs and the tautological reasoning behind Gangsta’s Paradise.

• We nearly died of penis envy: Sarah pleaded with us to “please think of the children” when we ran out to buy weenie straws. Matty introduced his junk to facebook. And we got we learned the details of a decade old blowjob.

• Matty rued the day that he failed to patent his formula for coconut flavored cocaine.Natasha learned that cliches are the new catchphrases.

• Tess introduced us to the exotic 21st century tribe known as “Florida Swamp Trash”

• We worshiped on the altar of skinny jeaned Steve Perry.

Have a great thetan-free weekend!

This week on HeyBeUs…

• Sascha Elise pretended to review books about people who pretended to be interesting.
• Everyone and their favorite hooker sounded off on Eliot Spitzer, and then we turned him into an emoticon.
• Tess wanted to touch a big monkey.
• Natasha went all the way to Japan because trends in America weren’t ridiculous enough.
• Sarah reminded you that Republicans still take their sex scandals with two spoonfuls of panache.
• Matty made a colorful presentation to keep your parents off the Facebook.
• We all learned a little bit more about ourselves.

You guys are totally BFFs.

After two hectic ass weeks we received over 6,000 pageviews (we’re totes the hottest thing since Chris Crocker) We wanted to call your attention to some changes and improvements we’ve made this quarter.

*Meet the team: 4 Girls, 1 Dude, 1 Cup, Tons of Blow, and speedy internet connection. We live to impress you.

*Pictures!: We uploaded a fancy widget that allows us to publish our exploits and share them with all the cybersufers of the world. BOUNDARIES: we don’t have any. Yay!

*Send this shit your friends! We now have a link at the bottom of our posts for you to email this smut to college girls you want to impress and co-workers you to intimidate.

*Click our links! Our links are little treasures. While we of course will back our shit with major media links, we also make it a point to find fresh and interesting blogs. Especially DC blogs.

*We Love Your Blog: Cause you’re awesome, we updated our Blogroll. We have our personal blogs up there. And here are some other highlights : White Whine, Triumph of Bullshit, Obsidian Wings, and Stop, Blog, and Roll.

There is a glut of tiresome and tedious DC blogs that lack the humor, wit, and style that this town desperately needs. Our stuffy, sleepy, fantastic little district deserves more than shrill activists, dry wonks, and pissed off bureaucrats with an internet connection. In the name of American efficiency, we want to provide you with a one-stop blog for
DC news, commentary, satire, and style. We are pithy. We are smart. We are pretty. We live in DC and we want to blog about it.

Here’s what we offer:

1. That Gentle But Stinging Feminine Touch
The ratio of women to men in this town is 3 to 1. All the DC blogs –including the unbearably screechy Wonkette– are run and written by cranky men. The District needs a uniquely female perspective. While we have no desire to write about “Womyn’s Issues,” we do want to quip about the stories that effect card-carrying vagina owners. This ranges from the most sexist pundits, the most fuckable senators, awesomest women on da hill, to chronicling (the many) DC fashion pitfalls. The ladies need somewhere to romp and read. We are that place.

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